Today I wore my favourite pants. They’re a size 40 (a small size 40 though), black, and bootleg and slightly too long. They speak to the grungry 20-something in me with torn jean hems and low-rise pants. Today, like any other day, I stood in front of my closet and pondered the day’s clothes, and found old faithful (the pants). Today, at work, I was also told by two very well-meaning colleagues that I am absolutely forbidden to wear them again unless I have them tailored. I wasn’t offended, but it definitely brought forward the realisation that every time I wear these pants (once a week) they are more loose, and I’ve already tightened my belt once this month (physically, metaphorically speaking is another story for another decade), and it dawned on me. I’m in an awkward, in-between phase.
Thanks for PCOS I went from a size 36 to a 40 in the space of 6 months. I might be short, but it basically means I gained 20kg in a few months. Thanks to Banting, and now exercise, I’ve lost almost 10kg in 8 weeks. The only problem is that I am no longer large enough for my size 40 clothes, but still too big for my old clothes. Most of the weight is still sitting on my thighs – I can’t even get my ass and thighs into one of my oldest, most beloved denim skirts. It also doesn’t make sense to start tailoring my size 40 clothes, if I continue to lose at this rate, I should be down to a size 36 again by the middle of the year, and who knows, I might like to hit a weight mark in the 50s and I might even be a size 34. Right now I’m relying on dresses that are loose around the waist and legs and luckily I have a few from my skinnier days that have been mostly unaffected by the weight gain (mostly A-line) and a few skirts which are quite stretchy, and in a size 38 (and are already so big on my waist that I need to wear a belt with those), but for now it’ll do.
It’s a very awkward place to be right now, I’ll tell you that! Here’s to hoping I can get to a 38 quiet soon and start fitting into some of my clothes again, because wearing the same thing every week is starting to bore me. Once I get back to my old weight (around 67-70kg) I’ll be able to fit into most of my old clothes and I’ll have variety again!
Hugs & sloppy daxie kisses