Today is our 3rd anniversary. What a wonderful 3 years it has been.
Rickus and I met under the strangest of circumstances – in a psychiatric hospital in Pretoria of all places. When I checked in, I was depressed, suicidal, hung up on another man, and promptly decided to find the first person I could who would give me attention. I’d like to say that person was Rickus but that would be an utter lie. Somehow, he overlooked my moment of being a bit of a tart, and still found himself attracted to me. Once I got to know him, I realised what a sweet, kind, gentle human he is.
I could not begin to explain to you how lucky I am. I have a man who really does put me on a pedestal (if you’re Afrikaans, you’ll understand the phrase “dra my op sy hande” which really does articulate it more accurately). He is gentle, kind, hardworking and committed to changing the things in our relationship which cause friction. He’s changed from a man who had a maid 6 days a week, to having one once a week, and picking up after himself, cleaning up after himself, and doing the things that ease my OCD (real OCD, not pop-culture neat-freakiness).
I think it goes without saying that we’ve had our fights and our screaming matches and our issues. He’s grown leaps and bounds in terms of his anxiety, and his other issues (ones I am not at liberty to discuss in a public forum).
Rickus is also a wonder father to our kids. I know you’re thinking “Wait, she has kids?”, and you’re not wrong. We have dogs, but as I’m sure you’re all aware, they are our lives. They are our babies, and bring us love and joy and friendship much the same as a child would. Rickus is never impatient with them, or shouts at them, and he indulges all their little neuroses. Dachshunds are prone to separation-anxiety, as well as spouts of moodiness, and when our little one throws a tantrum and hides in the corner on his bed, Rickus can often be found lying on the floor with him keeping him company. I may have doubts in his ability to raise a child in many ways, but I never worry that my children (if we ever have them) will go without love and hugs.
When we moved to Cape Town 2 years ago, I fell into a nasty depression, and Rickus took it in his stride. I probably threatened to leave him and take the dogs at least once a week, and I’m so grateful that I didn’t, because once the cloud lifted, and we settled into our groove (we’d only been together a year, and only living together for a few months when we moved) things were so much better. Moving here was obviously a huge stress on our relationship, but I chalk up the success of our relationship to how well Rickus deals with my drama, which is often delivered to him in buckets.
I could really go on and on and on about how wonderful Rickus is, but that would be boring for everyone else, and probably make you all vom a little bit, so I will leave you with this: I am beyond blessed, grateful, and happy to have found this wonderful person. I may want to kill him at least 3 times a week, but I am very aware that I am also not the easiest person to live with. I am thankful, and grateful for everything Rickus does, and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with him.
Hugs & sloppy daxie kisses